As much as you convince yourself you are okay with rejection–actually expecting rejection–it still hurts when it comes.
I’ve had a full out with a dream agent for a month now. I have steeled myself for the worst, but, as is human nature, I fantasized about that agent requesting The Call. At the very least, I thought I would get some feedback so I could gain insight into how to improve.
And then, this morning, I got the email. Great premise, not enthusiastic enough, please think of us next time. Of course I’m grateful that I got the request in the first place and that someone took the time to read my manuscript, but I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t hurt like hell. You never realize how high you’ve gotten your hopes up until it all comes crashing down.
I’m trying to keep it in perspective. I still have two fulls out right now, one with another dream agent. All it takes is one yes, and I know that. All of my requests have come from having sample pages with my query, which definitely gives me confidence about the writing, but I’m still worried that it will all fall through. I can rationalize all of this pretty well, but it’s pretty much impossible to be emotionally unattached to your work, you know? I want it to succeed. A rejection to a full request is not the end of the world, but it still sucks. I can rationalize that, too.
My hope for the other two fulls out is that I’ll receive feedback, although if it’s just not a right fit, what else can they say? Of course, my overarching hope is that I’ll be scheduling a call to talk to an agent and will take that next step, but that’s everyone’s hope. That’s the dream.
I won’t stop dreaming.